Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Even you


needs to be told it's going to be okay sometimes.

And it will.

(You have it in you to be what you imagine)

Saturday, 26 July 2014

I Don't Fall In Love With People

I fall in love  with dynamics.
I am intrigued by chemistries.
But people, in their own right,
Have never stolen the breath from me.
The interaction between one person and another
Can entertain me for days, weeks, months
To see how their dynamic works, how it functions
In every and every situation, at least once.
Dynamic is not something everyone has
Chemistry is not ensured from birth or at all
Thus when I see it, positive or negative,
It grips me, holds me, keeps me under its thrall.
I do not fall in love with people.
It is a fact I've come to accept.
People have never inspired adoration, no,
I fall in love with dynamics.

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

My Opium

I thought something
Was wrong with me.
I'm writing so
Reading poetry
Lines invade
When I'm retiring,
Ascending I'm reciting,
Divining parallel parables.
I'm convinced he's
Left the stage,
Replaced by me
On the page,
In figures of speech.
The Chosen words,
Give meaning and comfort
Religion obscured.

Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Firsts Are Either The Best Or The Worst

There's a first time for everything.
First love-
First kiss,
First real relationship.
First time I knew you were looking right through me.
First time I doubted you,
First time I questioned the motives for the things you do.
First moment I suspected you didn't love me.
First time I knew you thought I was inferior to thee.
First time you yelled at me.
First time you touched me and it wasn't lovingly.
First time you pulled away from a kiss and then wouldn't look me in the eyes.
First time I knew some of what you said would still be just lies.
First time I could see myself building a life with another person.
First time I loved freely without needing permission.
First time I thought you were different.
First time I realized you were just like the rest of them.
Remember the first time you got so afraid I was going to leave?
First time you made me cry, first of oh so many.
First time you hugged me.
First time you spoke without love or sincerity.
First time you said you missed me.
Our first, and our last, anniversary.
First time you told me I wasn't very smart.
First time someone ever broke my heart.

Monday, 7 July 2014

Is Love Really Hard Or Are People Just Difficult?

Where does the spark and infatuation from the beginning go?

It’s crazy how quickly you can go from being excited to talk to a person to feeling like you’re forcing the conversation. The quality time you spend with each other turns into “I was busy” and the consistent communication becomes “I don’t know”.  When does “I hate to see you leave” turn into “It hurts too much to stay?”

Could it be because we’re all guilty of taking things for granted? Maybe we think love is something which will appear whenever it is convenient, or maybe we don’t realize how important it is to keep a good thing going. Maybe we think happiness is something that just finds us, instead of being something we must work for. And maybe that’s why we end up doing or saying something we shouldn’t have, and regret our actions later. It’s amazing how fast things change…

You go from laughing about anything to arguing about everything. You go through the motions, wondering if they’re real, if they really do care, or if they’re going to run when it turns rough. It’s so scary. You want to give more of yourself to somebody but it’s hard so these days because you just never know if you’ll get anything back. Don’t we all deserve a bit of love? Love is not something just to be taken, it’s to be given as well. You think you have it all sorted. That they will come around sooner or later. That they will realize what they are doing will only wreck the relationship beyond repair.

You do little things, you stay consistent, but somehow it just doesn’t add up. Maybe the problem is that we except the love to be magical before we become magicians. Or could it be that we’re all just better breakers than builders? We’d rather have feelings we can throw away and ‘love’ that’s disposable.

We grew up reading tales like Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty etc, which lead us to believe that the path of love is a bed of roses, without the thorns. Or blame it on the overdose of the too-good-to-be-true love stories we encounter in films and read in novels. Happily ever after is a myth. And Happily Married is the biggest oxymoron ever.

Reality is rough. You only want what’s easy and that’s why what you get never lasts. Everybody wants to be fought for but nobody is willing to fight. Is this fair? She loves butterflies but she avoids beginnings because she hates to start over. He’s tired but he’s so used to the chase that he’s scared to stop running.

Makes you wonder… Is love really hard, or are people just difficult?

I Cannot Say Goodbye

You are gone now,

But I am still here.

And as I recollect the sweet memories,

My eye sheds a tear.

I will miss you a lot,

That’s for sure.

For you were like the morning rays,

So fresh and so pure.

You were like the sun rays,

That woke me up each morning.

You were like my shadow,

Which would be with me till evening.

You were like sparkling water,

Transparent and clear.

I would see my reflection in you and smile,

But you are no more here.

You were like the setting sun,

Glowing red and bright.

But, you would return again as the moon,

Shining high and white.

I see your face in the stars,

Smiling and so full of joy.

I will never forget you,

And never say goodbye.

Where Do We Belong...?

We've all heard about the site '' where people anonymously ask each other questions, be it about their personal life or just for fun. I recently joined this site just to see what kind of questions people ask and how people react to such questions. But one answer really infuriated me.
A person was asked to describe his country (India) in 3 words. He replied saying 'Cricket. Rape. Corruption'. Now I understand the frustration a normal Indian faces everyday regarding the growing cases of rape and corruption. But why insult your own country on a public forum knowing fully well that the person sending the question might just be from a different country? Is this the picture we want to give others about India? We should be proud to be Indians and should talk highly of our country. This brings me to my next point. 
I hear a number of Indians, specially students, criticizing the country and saying that they want to leave it. It bothers me that educated Indians themselves have no will to help develop their own country. India cannot grow until the people want to make it grow. Unfortunately, people, including me, have been influenced too much by the western culture. We see America and all we want is to live in a country as 'classy' and developed as America. Why don't we think even once that if we leave, how will our country flourish? It is the people who form a country, not the government and not the old politicians. I am not implying that all of us should join politics and run the country. But the least we can do is lead it to the path of development in the best possible way we know.
Charity begins at home. Our home is India and we are Indians. Running away from this fact won't change it.

Upon An Honest Man's Grave

Upon an honest mans grave they danced and joked

Upon an honest mans grave they sighed and smoked

Upon an honest mans grave they drank their wine

Upon an honest mans grave they did their line

Upon an honest mans grave they told some lies

Upon an honest mans grave they howled and cried

Upon an honest mans grave their life became so bleak

Upon an honest mans grace they were too dead to speak

Quick Thoughts

I never stick to anything for more than a few weeks
Habits die harder than young love, it's so bleak
I never finish anything, my creation is disaster
But if destruction's a form of creation, call me.. "Creative Master"

Loving You In Silence

I see you and can't look you in the eye
I feel your presence as you pass by me and i can't feel your touch
I hear you speak and i can't just open my mouth
I see your footprints and i cant follow your steps
We both stare at each other and i look away


Drugs impair us
beyond repair
Lowly death
~Vs~ the highs of life
Does not compare
mind likes to travel
Body takes it there
remember this feeling 
And for once in forever
Forget to care.


I sing because my heart is full;
I sing because my soul is free;
I sing because the love I feel for her
is such a lovely thing.

I'll write for her, ten thousand words;
I'll write for her, a thousand songs-
I'll write them in the hopes that
I can sing them to her all night long.

I hope your heart is full of peace;
I hope your soul is snug and warm-
for I'll be with you very soon,
to sing, you held close in my arms...

Little Infinity

So ever since I was a kid,

I found myself chasing for the things I could never have.

The clothes I could never wear.

The things I could never eat.

The people I could never meet.

Never love. Never kiss. Never truly have.

The person I could never love.

The person I could never kiss.

I person I could never have.

You asked me today to let you go.

But how can I let you go, my love!

When I never had you at all!

You told me you loved me with all your heart.

That I’m a wild rose and I will always be yours,

And I believed you

Because at that moment – I know you meant it!

But sometimes love is not enough to keep two people together.

And I learned it the hard way,

When I never got the things I wanted.

When I never got the people I love.

And when I realized that every moment,

Every breath is just one more cry.

One more loss.

One more death.

And I feel like I’m a walking funeral

Of the death of all these incomplete wishes,

Oh! They are still haunting me.

You. You…

You are not one of those wishes.

Never was – never will.

You will always be with me.

And I’m talking about forever here.

You will be with me - like my heartbeat,

And my sight.

And my voice.

And my thoughts.

And my dreams.

My desires. My cravings. My soul.

I know that nothing lasts forever.

“Forever” is such a myth.

But in the last couple of days –

When you told me you love me,

Even with my flaws.

Especially with my flaw.

When you made me smile with just a text message.

When you kissed me Good night.

When you made me love myself.

When you made my world stop.

You gave me my little infinity,

In these last couple of days.

And no one can take that away from me.


You will always be my

Little Infinity.

The Lovers

And soon, the day will come,

When all would be set and done!

When all the curtains between

Nothingness and vacuum will fall apart.

They will dig us back,

From the haunted grounds

And desolated cemeteries.

And our soul will dance

On the tongue of salvation!

Our cadavers –

Oh! They will look at each other,

Craving to touch,

To find their eternal ending.

But they will never touch their fingertips,

With each other.

And they will never be together!

Because the most beautiful things in this world

Are always destroyed. Always broken.

And they all would come and see us!

They would display our bodies

In museums and in exhibitions,

They would take tickets from people to see,

The longing and the pain

That would reside on our skeleton.

The longing for a forever that never came.

And from that day onwards, they would call us,

“The Lovers!”

Stay. Stay. Stay.

“I love you,”

Was the last thing I wanted to say to you.

Before you walked away

And disappeared with the melting sunset.

When a part of me died with the broken bones

And the cracked ribs that produced an empty sound,

A nostalgic echo with the flawed beats of my heart.

So instead of letting you know,

How much I loved you –

I remained still and I choose to stay.

I stayed like the wrinkles of my bed

That unfolds themselves with your curves

And remains intact even in your absence.

I stayed like the roots of a winter tree

That never lifts up above the ground

And only choose to penetrate within

Until nothing remains to grow.

And I choose to stay,

Like a frozen chunk of ice

Or a heartless bronze statue;

Having a faraway look in my eyes –

Waiting for you to come back.

Waiting for you to turn.

Waiting to forgive you.

Because someone once told me,

That is what love is.

One Last Time

I look at you

And I see a faraway crafted look in your eyes

Searching for the infinity;

Looking for something that could only be seen,

But could never be felt.

Like a brief moment of solitude,

Or the cracking sound of hailstorms;

You think of me,

Like an unforgettable winter afternoon

Which creates a chill across your spine –

A chill which reaches to your soul

And makes it cold.


You close those emerald eyes, and then

You think of me

And of the last time when we kissed,

And how I wrote from the touch of my lips

On your pearl white skin,

How much I love you.

How much I loved you.

But that touch seems like the memories

Of a different lifetime.

A life once lived, but now forgotten

With the thunderstorms of time.

You open your eyes and think of me.

One last time,

Before closing them again. Forever.

And would call me your lover.

A lost one.

Your immortal…


She gazed outside the window,
the sun falling on her eyes;
Her eyes full of dreams, full of reason,
but there was an emptiness,  an emptiness that couldn't be defined.
She gave a tiny laugh as she saw two young birds fly past.
The warm winter afternoon filled her heart 
with a little happiness, a little sorrow, a little bit of...everything.
The sun made her feel beautiful, made her feel special.
Staring at it with closed eyes made her feel brave. Then why was it so incomplete?
Why did it all feel so, well....lost?

The Poetess

The crying sun
The moonless night.
The silent poetess
With words so bright.
The soft murmur
The gentle caress.
The careless whisper
Her silken dress.
She cries in dark
Her pain is veiled.
She puts in fear
A brave new face.
Those misty eyes
With tears like dew.
They speak to me
In words so few.
Her words flow
With unseen grace.
Her lips move
With mingled haste.
The silent poetess
Cries in vain.
For she finds none
To share her pain.


“The more you approach infinity, the deeper you penetrate terror.” 
                                                                                 - Gustave Flaubert

He was like fire, a pyre of flames engulfing the darkness.
He burned brighter than the sun.
He cast shadows longer than an unending road.
He was a child of fear, and pain.
All his morbid desires took shape one day, and he felt alone.

She was like rain, a rush of calmness.
She had happiness in her eyes, and love in her heart.
She was a child of hope, and wisdom.
She met him, and all hell broke loose.
She quenched his thirst. 
She broke him in the best of ways.
She completed him.

A silent whisper of freshness.
A breath.
They were infinite together.